Genuine Repentance?

In chapter 12 of 1 Samuel, Samuel is addressing the people of Israel.

v 17-19
"I will call upon the LORD to send thunder and rain. And you will realize what an evil thing you did in the eyes of the LORD when you asked for a king." Then Samuel called upon the LORD, and that same day the LORD sent thunder and rain. So all the people stood in awe of the LORD and of Samuel. The people all said to Samuel, "Pray to the LORD your God for your servants so that we will not die, for we have added to all our other sins the evil of asking for a king."

At first sight it seems like Israel understands what they have done and that they are truly repentant. But I'm not convinced. Why? Because they kept their king. If they were genuinely repentant wouldn't they have given up their king and returned to the Lord? But they don't. Which tells me that they didn't really recognize the evil in what they did, they were simply afraid of the consequences. They still didn't want the Lord to be their king, they just didn't want him to destroy them.


I've felt that before. It's the fear that comes after you have been caught doing something wrong. It's not like you are sorry for what you did, you're just sorry that you got caught and now there are consequences. So you apologize and plea for mercy, but in your heart you still want whatever it is that you were busted for. That's not repentance. If it was real repentance I would hate my previous action and run from it into the arms of my merciful Savior. I would see how much better He is than what I was chasing before. There would be life change, not just a plea for mercy so that I can keep that which was evil to begin with.

An Introduction to "god"

I am reading a book called "What is the Gospel" by Greg Gilbert. In Chapter two he talks about God and his character. This is how he starts.


   Let me introduce you to god. (Note the lowercase g.)


   You might want to lower your voice a little before we go in, He might be sleeping now. He's old, you know, and doesn't much understand or like this "newfangled" modern world. His golden days - the ones he talks about when you really get him going - were a long time ago, before most of us were even born. That was back when people cared what he thought about things and considered him pretty important to their lives.
   Of course all that's changed now, though, and god - poor fellow- just never adjusted very well. Life's moved on and passed him by. Now, he spends most of his time just hanging in the garden out back. I go there sometimes to see him, and there we tarry, walking and talking softly and tenderly among the roses.
   Anyway, a lot of people still like him, it seems - or at least he manages to keep him poll numbers pretty high. And you'd be surprised how many people even drop by to visit and ask for things every once in a while. But of course that's alright with him. He's here to help.
   Thank goodness, all the crankiness you read about sometimes in his old books - you know, having the earth swallow people up, raining fire down on cities, that sort of thing - all that seems to have faded in his old age. How he's just a good-natured, low-maintenance friend who's really easy to talk to - especially since he almost never talks back, and when he does, it's usually to tell me through some slightly weird "sign" that what I want to do regardless is alright by him. That really is the best kind of friend, isn't it?
  You know the best thing about him, though? He doesn't judge me. Ever, for anything. Oh sure, I know that deep down he wishes I'd be better - more loving, less selfish, and all that - but he's realistic. He knows I'm human and nobody's perfect. And I'm totally sure he's fine with that. Besides, forgiving people is his job. It's what he does. After all, he's love, right? And I like to think of love as "never judging, only forgiving." That's the god I know. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
   Alright, hold on a second.... Okay, we can go in now. And don't worry, we don't have to stay long. Really. He's grateful for anytime he can get.


Oh Lord, may I never have such a ridiculous view of you.

Hymns

I've been listening to hymns in my car lately and it has been so good for my soul. When I first started to follow Christ I loved the contemporary worship songs like "Blessed Be Your Name" and "I Rest". I connected with the straightforward truth of what they were saying and I loved the repetition of the lyrics. And though I still like to rock out to a lot of those songs, hymns have become more and more of a joy to sing as I have continued to grow in my relationship with Christ. I love the richness and depth of the lyrics in hymns.

And though it's good to sing songs that have minimal, straightforward, repetitive lyrics, lately I have found myself wanting to sings songs with more "meat" to them. Which is why I like hymns so much; they are very meaty. Sometimes they are so meaty that I'm not even sure what they mean and I have to stop and think about what is being said. But when I figure out what those lines really mean, they become even more meaningful to my heart as I sing them out to the Lord at the top of my lungs (while the person in the car next to me gives me a strange look).

Don't get me wrong I still love when hymns are redone to be upbeat and loud. I'm not one for standing in my pew with my hymn book drearily singing "How Great Thou Art". But I think I would prefer to sing "In Christ Alone" rather than "He Is Good". Not because "He Is Good" is a bad song, not at all, but because my heart connects more with the truth that I sing in "In Christ Alone".

And let me let you off the hook.... you don't have to agree with me. But if you struggle with singing hymns, like I once used to, let me help you out a little. Some of the hymns I have been listening to in my car are by a band called Page CXVI and I think they have done an amazing job with the hymns they sing. Here are some of my favorites.

In Christ Alone


Come Thou Fount


Joy


If you wish to buy any of their albums you can find them here. Enjoy!