Mistaken Identity - Part 4

This is a surprise part 4 to the Mistaken Identity series. As I was thinking about my own life application and thought process through these blogs I decided that there needed to be another part to it.

What is the result of finding your identity in Christ and what is the result when you do not?

Let's take a look at the ladder first. As we've already established, finding my identity and worth in something other than Christ is a sin. But there is another repercussion to this too. If I am finding my value in something other than Christ then it becomes impossible to truly love others. I know this is a bold statement (figuratively and literally), but let me try and explain.

If I find my identity in my car, it means I'm gaining value from that car. But really what it means is that I am gaining some value or worth in other people's eyes because of my car. Now that could either be because my car is totally awesome and therefore people think I am totally awesome, or it could be because my car is a complete wreck and I therefore look more godly than the person with the really cool car. Either way, I'm gaining value from what other people think about me and therefore I cannot genuinely love them. Why? 1 Corinthians 13 says that love "is not self-seeking". As soon as I care more about what I can gain from someone rather than what I can give to someone, I have stopped loving them according to the 1 Corinthians 13 definition. Love does not take from others, it gives. Now it can sure look like I'm loving someone, but the true test is when that person no longer gives me what I am desiring from them. How do I treat them when they no longer think I am the coolest?

So what is the result when I find my value and worth in Christ? It frees me up to truly love others. If I find all my worth in the Lord, then I don't need to worry about whether or not other people think I am great. I don't need to take from them because my value has already been defined by Christ's death on the cross. I can instead give and give and give. That's what true love is. It gives without expecting anything in return. As soon as I expect to take from someone that's when I have ceased loving them.

Like I said at the beginning of my first blog post, this is something that the Lord continually reveals to my heart. I so often find my identity in things other than Christ. And finding my identity in what I did and how busy my schedule was has been a big thing for me to process through. But I am so thankful that the Lord opened my eyes to see where he wasn't first in my life. I pray that he will do the same for you.

Mistaken Identity - Part 3

Why is it that I have such a great need to be valued? Why is it that I strive to find worth from something; from anything? I have this insatiable urge to be loved and treasured, but where did that come from? My theory is, we were created to be valued.

Why was man created? There are a couple good answers to that question, but one of those answers is that the Lord wanted to. He just wanted to. He had a desire to show all his goodness and glory to a specific being, thus man was created. We were created because he wanted us and therefore we were designed to be the compliment of that; to be wanted.

So how does God fulfill that desire in us to be valued and wanted? Before the foundations of the world, God knew what he was doing. He thought up the timeline of the universe and how all of the events on this earth would take place. He was not taken by surprise when Adam sinned and humanity fell. Before time began, he had designed a salvation plan in order that we might see the greatness and glory of our Lord and know the the fullness of his love for us. And the climax of God's timeline was the crucification and resurrection of Jesus Christ. And that is precisely where we find complete fulfillment for our need to be valued. At the cross, I find all the value I could ever hope for.

Romans 5:8 - "but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

What a great God we have! I was in a state where I was unlovable, where I had no value at all due to my sin. I had rejected the Lord completely and he would have had every right to tell me "I'm done with you." And yet, in that state when I had done nothing to be worthwhile or valuable, Christ died and showed me that I was valuable to him. Because I'm only worth what someone will pay for me. And Christ showed that I was worth his blood, not because of what I had done but simply because he valued me that much.

So my identity is found in Christ. And when I forget that all I need to do is return to the cross where I can see where my true value lies. Without Christ, I have no value at all. But in him, my created need for value and worth is completely fulfilled and satisfied.

Mistaken Identity - Part 2

In my last blog post I wrote about how I have recently discovered a case of mistaken identity in my life; I have been finding my identity in places where I should be finding it. You can read about it here.

When I wrote my last post, my husband asked me what "identity" meant and why it was a bad thing to find my identity in what I was finding it in. As I thought about what "identity" meant, this is the definition I came up with: Identity is that which defines my value or worth. My identity is who I am. I would say that it's something more than just what describes me (i.e. I'm a wife, a daughter, a sister, an administrator, a friend, etc.). It's what defines the core of my being. It's the answer to the philosophical question "who am I?".

Now some people do answer that question with what describes them. Some people's identity is in their job and they pour their life into it because that's where they find value. Some people find their identity in being a wife or a mom and that's where they find their value. As I wrote in my last post, I was finding my identity in what did and how busy I was. Since I was a busy person, I was important and valuable.

Why is this sin? When I define my value by something other than what God says, I have essentially put myself or something else higher than God in my life. Example: If I find my identity in my job and how much I accomplish at work, I'm demonstrating that my job is more valuable to me than the Lord; that I value what my job offers me more than what God offers me. You see, there is a correlation between what we value and what gives us value. We value the things that give us value. If I have two co-workers and one of them sends me an email about how great of a job I am doing and one of them sends me an email telling me that I suck at this job and should quit, I immediately like the first person better than I like the second person. Why? Because they gave me value. Therefore, I value them more than I value the other person who told me that I was not valuable at all.

So when I find my identity in something other than God, I'm telling God that the value he gives me isn't good enough and so I will find my value elsewhere. And because the value he gives me isn't good enough, he himself isn't good enough because he isn't giving me what I need. And so, I elevate something or someone else above God because I think it will give me the value I need. The problem is that when that someone or something goes away, I get dropped like a rock, leaving me feeling very worthless. Because nothing except the Lord can fully and completely satisfy my need for value and worth.

How does God do that and what is my value in God's eyes? Stay tuned for part 3.

Mistaken Identity - Part 1

This week has been an interesting week for me. God has revealed something in my heart, that in all honesty, he has revealed many times before. He has once again shown me that I have a case of mistaken identity, which is not uncommon for me and which I would venture to say is not uncommon for you either. Let me explain.

For the past several weeks my work has been really slow. We are in a season at Sage Benefit Advisors where we don't have much going on. This has led to me being sent home from work early, sometimes hours earlier than normal. I'm also not as busy with church responsibilities as I used to be, which has left me with more free time in the afternoons and mornings.

This extra time that I have been given has left me feeling quite useless. Because I don't have much to do at work, there us no point in me being there. At home I have struggled with finding "valuable" things to do (there is only so much you can clean in our little apartment). And since I don't have as many meetings as I used to on a regular basis, I feel less valuable in the Rock. All of this has left me feeling worthless altogether.

You see, over the last few years (and really my whole life) I have been finding value and my identity in what I do or don't do. If I am not measuring up to someone's expectations (even if they are my own) I must not be valuable enough. If I can do something good and productive, then I am valuable. Leadership on my team and in the Rock has given me value. But now that I am not "doing" as many things, now that my schedule isn't as busy, I'm believing the lie that I am no longer valuable, I have become worthless. In essence, I am finding my identity in the wrong place.

In my next blog post I will share more about why finding my identity and value in these things is a sin and where I should be getting my identity and value from instead.