As I have processed through a lot of what Mitch has been talking about I have been convicted of my own sin and wrong attitudes through out my years in the Rock. The following thoughts come from that heart in wanting to warn my sisters in order that my mistakes aren't repeated by you.
1. Be careful how you view the role of a female "leader" - This role on the female side of things is very different from the male side. Biblically speaking there is no mandate for a leadership position as a woman. Which means we need to clearly see what that role is. The role of a female "leader" is to make sure that there is a connection between the women on the team and the male leader. And we need to understand that her role is and should be limited. When the male leader of a team is not around, it's not the female "leader's" role to step in and take charge. Another male should step up and lead. "Leader" is the label that we have put on her but not necessarily the role she actually has. So be careful in viewing that role more than what it is. The male is the leader of the team. He is responsible for every person on the team, including the women. The female is there as a support role to him in order to establish an appropriate connection between him and the rest of the women. She is only as responsible for those women as any sister in Christ should be responsible for them, and not beyond.
2. A female "leader" is not better than the rest of the women on the team - If you are a female "leader" in the Rock be careful to not view yourself as somehow more righteous than everyone else. Yes the Lord may have given you more wisdom and experience than some of the other women, but that comes from the Lord and should not be boasted in. You are on the same level as they are. Don't think that you are above their correction or encouragement and don't think that you are the only one that has something to offer. If you are not a "leader" than do not for a minute think that you have nothing to offer anyone. And do not think that your leader has her life all together and is more holy than you are. She is just as sinful as you are and needs Jesus just as much as you do. She needs to be corrected and encouraged just like you do. Mutual discipleship can and should occur. You have just as much to offer her as she does to you. Her standing before God is not more right than yours is.
3. Discipleship is not exclusive - The discipleship tree structure is beneficial, but can create tension when misunderstood or misapplied. Discipleship does not just happen from one person to another. Discipleship should happen within the membership. That means that, though one-on-one meetings are good, that should not be the extent of your discipleship. Is there a women on your team or even elsewhere in the Rock or Summitview that is really good at praying? Than seek to spend time praying with her in order to grow your prayer life. Is there a woman that is good at evangelizing? Than spend time with her sharing in the plaza. Is there a woman that is really good at pulling thoughts from scripture? Then spend time reading the bible and discussing with her. You should not think that your discipleship only comes from the one woman that you meet consistently with and you can have consistent meetings with other women on your team or in the Rock or Summitview. And be careful with saying "I'm discipling this person" or "this person is discipling me". Those sayings automatically place one person above the other, when there should be equal, mutual discipleship occurring. And those sayings automatically bring and exclusivity to discipleship that shouldn't be there.
4. Be active in encouraging women on your team, even the ones that you may not meet with regularly - Just because you don't meet with some one on a regular basis does not mean that you can just disregard their life and think that you don't have to engage with them. You have a responsibility to that sister just like you do to every other sister. You do have things to encourage her with and she has things to encourage you with. So pursue all the women on your team. Ask if she would like to get together and read your Bibles together sometime. Ask if she wants to go see a movie with you. Ask if she wants to pray together. Whatever you do, pursue relationship with all the women in your close membership circle.
I know that I have thought and acting wrongly in all of these areas. I have had an incorrect view of what my role as a "leader" should be. I have thought of my self as more righteous then others. I have seen discipleship as exclusive and I have failed to pursue all of the women on my team. And that's why I am thankful for Mitch's heart in changing our vocabulary and so challenging my thought processes on all of these things. As always, Jesus Christ needs to be the center of how week walk these things out. If for a moment another purpose or meaning comes in, we need to repent and put Christ back as the means and the end for living our lives together as members.
If you have questions about any of these things, please feel free to email me or talk to me in person. I would be happy to dialog more with you about them.